Lead By Example Men and Women?

By Tracey Bivens
Of all the debates that take place in steppin, I think my favorite one is whether women should lead one another at the steppers sets.

A couple of months ago, a young lady in Detroit wrote on her Facebook page that she was tired of men not asking her to dance and because of this, she wanted to learn how to lead so she could  take the empowered role of being able to lead other women at her discretion. Some people thought her response to be strange because she is a newcomer to the dance and seems to be disgruntled by the lack of available dances. I spoke to a couple of people regarding her post and it was met with a variety of comments.

One female instructor was vehemently opposed to any female leading another female outside of the instructor/student relationship. She said that she could only understand it if there was an established relationship that would allow for an occasional lead at a set. Another sentiment was that females leading other females set the tone for an “alternative lifestyle” look at the set which negates the whole purpose of the sets in the first place. Steppers set flyers show women and MEN engaged in the dance together…not the other way around. Yet, a strong query centered on the question of why it is okay for men to engage in “one on ones” when they are showcasing footwork in particular i.e. Tyboo/Tyk Myn/Pete Frazier videos.

As a female who has led other women and will still occasionally lead them, I felt like I didn’t have a choice when only five or so men were available to step with in the early days of Detroit steppin. There would be 40 of us and we would all be on the sidelines waiting patiently. I was called everything but a child of God for doing it and had many men angry with me. But what do you do when you really want to step as a female and no males are available?

Women in Chicago are not seen at sets stepping with one another except when there is a birthday line taking place and the lead is usually a turn or two and the woman walks away. Nothing more…nothing less.

A longtime friend in the dance told me recently that the only thing males really have control over in this society in this day and age is “a dance.” Women have long since empowered themselves as single mothers leading households, the sole breadwinner in many families and the heads of corporations and political arenas. It may be safe to assume that because a lot of men struggle with the whole “dancing, swag and implementing combinations correctly,” thing, women become bored and irritated waiting for men to develop their dance. Women want the men to look like the Tyks, Feos, Dres, and Unique Maurices. By that same token, some of the most talented and technically sound “male lead” instructors like Cliff “Big Slim” Reynolds and Sherry Gordon have both stated that some men don’t want to follow through on what they’ve learned in class by watching other seasoned dancers more and PRACTICING. They both say that a lot of times, SOME of their students will show up for class one week and will not touch the dance until the next class session and that this is very apparent with the men.

Because there are no “steppin laws” that prevent women from leading other women, I don’t think that this debate will turn into a signed bill anytime soon, but as always, I hope that this commentary helps women and men understand why things are the way they are. In the meantime…follow the leader.